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April 20, 2012

Ben died Apr. 20, 2010

it’s the anniversary of Ben’s death today. My nephew, Ben, died from the side effects from drug administered fighting cancer of the brain. He fought for many weeks in hospital, where they were unable to help him much to relieve the pain. Not a way to die you would wish on your worst enemy. The second pneumonia took him as he lie in a drug induced coma. 24 hrs a day someone from the family/friends were with him, an ordeal we are still recovering from. His mom Connie and sister Mandie miss him dearly.

Today, I remember him and what a great guy he was. He was buddhist and accepted his lot in life with as much grace as he could. He was never bitter or angry, but just steadfast in his determination to fight it as long as he could. Towards the end he became confused and would ask why he was in hospital and what had happened and each time.

He lived for 18 years with brain tumors that usually kill within a year or so, so he did live as long as he could and died at 31. Hi Ben, hope you are having a wonderful afterlife, we miss you.

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December 22, 2011

Christmas

I did a workshop on Grief and the holidays and one suggestion I really liked and will implement it. I got 4 little frames – Santas with a space for a photo and will put a picture of Shannon in one and Ben in another, then do a set for my sister that is the same. We can put the decorations on our trees and have a reminder of the two we lost. That feels very good to me. Remember to keep some energy for yourself this season and allow yourself some wiggle room to get out of commitments you can’t/don’t want to do. Keep the traditions you like and let the others go. Best wishes for the Holidays.

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