Category Archives: Life

Book, Life – Hunger Games Misname, Grief – Cry

BOOK:

The book signing on Nov. 9 at Chapters Crowfoot was slow. It was a horrible snowy day, but the other authors there were a pleasure to be with. I learned a lot from them and how they promote and sell their books, so the experience was valuable in the end.

LIFE:  Hunger Games Misname

Mom is still having a hard time adjusting to losing more words, but the ones she creates are very funny.

We were watching the first two Hunger Games so that we will remember where the story is when the third Hunger Games movie comes out Nov 21. Mom got caught up in the action and said “Mistress, watch out!” She meant Katniss of course. My sister and I had to choke back the laughter as we exchanged looks and my sister even had to drink to cover up her guffaws. That action hero is nobody’s mistress, that’s for sure.

GRIEF: 106 Ways to Deal with Grief,

www.KathyBriantBooks.com

The idea behind the statement…

15. Crying is good for you. Likely you’re going to do lots for a long time.

The minute the police told me Shannon was dead in her apartment (I wouldn’t go in); my eyes developed a life of their own. The tears just streamed down and didn’t stop for quite a while. It was like the waterworks were entirely out of my control. I had to close bank accounts, tell utility companies she was gone and discontinue the service and all of that with tears streaming. I realized a crying woman gets excellent service, just one of those odd things I noticed. My head had such pressure in it I had to get acupuncture to make the sinuses drain properly. I really cried up a storm and I didn’t care much that I did. At work I had to rein it in, but the minute I was in the parking lot on my way home, down came the tears. I had a lot to cry about apparently, so I did.

I cried pretty much regularly for the first two years, heavier the first, less the second. Year three, now and again and now that I am in year five, just sometimes. I was never a crier before and had difficulty crying when I needed to. No problem now. I cry at sad movies, when someone is in distress, when I think of what I have lost and just from time to time when I feel sad. Much healthier now. That dry awful feeling I used to get when I needed to cry and couldn’t is gone. I can cry and feel better afterwards, which is the purpose of crying I think – release.

So get used to it and let it go or you will back up and back up until you find the dam breaking when you don’t want it to. You don’t have to hold back the tears, they want to get out. You need to express your grief.

BOOKS, LIFE, GRIEF

BOOKS:   I’m looking for a mean God, from Norse, or Olympian Greece, or Celtic history who would want to harm people. Someone nasty and mean who holds a grudge. Any ideas?

LIFE:
Are people crazy?  I was driving on 12 Ave. and stopped for the light at 14 St. SW, when an elderly woman with an equally elderly woman passenger, turned in the wrong way on the one way street. She was now facing traffic in the far lane.  I honked and waved at her.  She was nonplussed.  As she passed me going the wrong way, I  turned and looked behind me to see what she was doing and saw her swing across three lanes and turn herself in the right direction before the light changed.  Two grandmas almost didn’t make it home.

GRIEF: 106 Ways to Deal with Grief, www.kathybriantbooks.com

4. You can’t hide from grief – that does not good at all. You need to go through it so you can eventually start to heal. Otherwise, there you are 10 years later, still dealing with a crippling grief that will not go away. It is normal to avoid pain. I think that is what the numbness is when you first hear. Your mind and body are trying to give you a little anesthetic, a little numbness or blankness so you have a little time to adjust.

My mother said “It’s time to stop crying, we’ve cried enough.” This was after one day, so for some people all they want to do is get away. Unfortunately, there is no getting away, and if you deny and deny for too long, it waits for you and it will wait years. One woman said she didn’t start grieving until five years after her son was killed. Her life was very busy and she had other children, so it wasn’t until they all reached an age that she could look at what had happened. She had a very bad time for a while, as is normal.

You don’t want to be one of those people with unexplained ulcers, or a heart condition, or sleep disturbances that become permanent. Deal with it, go through it and you will come out the other side eventually.

You have to stare the monster in the face. That’s the only way you can deal with what has happened. That is the only way you can process your grief and eventually find a place to put it. It never leaves you, but just becomes dulled over time and your life can move on.