Lots of characters; New stuff,bad finger; Get grief support

BOOK: see www.KathyBriantBooks.com for some more writing samples

After a while all the characters blur and sometimes I have to look up the name. Does this mean I am quite a distance in my book? I hope so.

LIFE:

Got a new front door, a new patio door, a new furnace. Had a garage sale, hurt my little finger moving concrete sidewalk blocks so the nail is all black and got sinus surgery. Busy, busy, that’s for sure.

GRIEF: 106 Ways to Deal with Grief, www.KathyBriantBooks.com

The idea behind the statement…

find-people-to-support-you

  1. Develop and use a Grief Support Group. You are part of a club you never wanted to join, but the members can help each other.

It took me a year to go to a grief support group. It was a very rough year. I had a cousin to talk to and a few others, but I was spiraling out of control. No one really understood what I was going through since most had not lost a child. There is nothing to compare to a group of people going through the same thing. We understood each other and it was a relief to know I could talk about my loss and not be so alone.

Sometimes you can find a few supportive people or sometimes you need a group. Do what you can to find someone somewhere who can support you. It is very important. I went to Canadian Mental Health for support when Shannon was sick, which was invaluable to understand her depression and how to hold my own so I didn’t go down with her. I needed to define boundaries, because her issues tended to overshadow my life completely. I took courses to understand her depression and courses to understand suicide. I knew she would likely kill herself because she just didn’t want to be here, so I waited a year after her first attempt and tried everything I could think of to help her. It didn’t work and she swallowed everything she could find and was gone.

Afterwards, I went from the support group for families dealing with mental illness to those who had lost a loved one from suicide. That was good, but not quite right for me. The best one I found, however, was through Rockyview Hospital and was for parents who had lost a child. That was wonderfully helpful for me, listening to what other parents were going through and sharing my loss. We helped each other immensely, I believe.

I did try a counsellor at first, but one who was not trained in grief specifically. There are lots of counselling people out there, who are wonderful, but grief is very specific and you need someone trained in that, not just a regular counsellor. If you decide to go the counselling route, make sure you find someone trained in grief.